Who Are You Worshiping Today?

Circa 1995, I, like various other boys, was mad assed crazy about World Wrestling Federation (formerly WWF, then WWE, now I have no damn clue). Besides posters of ‘real’ sportsmen, my walls were plastered with glossy posters of Razor Ramon, Macho Man, Hulk Hogan, and the ‘immortal’ Undertaker, while I enviously eyed a (taller than me) poster of ‘the narcissist’ Lex Luger belonging to one of my school seniors. Whenever my dad walked in on me watching the show on television, he would laugh and tell me that the show is a fake and men would die if really beaten like that. In reply, I fumed, hurt, teary eyed, complained to mom,  and ‘won’ the argument by counter questioning that how could a thing like the ‘clothes line’, ‘sweet chin music’, or ‘sharp shooter’ be faked (or faced fakingly), and that he knew nothing about the world.

Yes, the world and endorsers fed on my naiveté; as I grew up I accepted, begrudgingly so, that dad was right, and that The Undertaker has not yet died even once. That was the end of an era, era of hero worship for me. After that, all through my formative years, I painstakingly followed, rock bands, writers, and actors, but consciously and constantly knew that they were capable of misjudgments, crash landing a chopper on a tour bus, in the process killing themselves, mistakenly bite the head off a real bat thinking of it as a prop, or die of OD (not learning from past deaths).

I thought most of us grow up this way. But then the Salman Khan verdict happened, for a case that has been dragging on since the days I couldn’t even grow a full beard and made me realize that we indeed live in the times of Idiocracy. Times in which, supported by seriously stupid statements from the incestuous, movie industry fraternity (that has its head so much up its own behind that it cannot smell anything other than its own shit), even the common man is crying out loud about the ‘injustice’ meted out to their God by seriously flawed legal system. These men who don’t know who their neighbor is have suddenly developed so much acumen that they have begun talking about the law and various criminals roaming free while the transformed philanthropist is ‘unjustly’ sent behind bars. This man they say has done so much charity after that ‘minor accident’ that even God has planned 7 centuries in hell for the public prosecutor; meanwhile, amidst all the fervor, one of the village idiots (who (unfortunately for his kids) is a father)gulped poison to support his idol in some way we ‘non-believers’ won’t be able to fathom.

The verdict transformed those busy with mundane hero-worship into philosophers. ‘To err is human’ they cried hoarsely or, in a more pedantic fashion ‘galti to insaan se hi hoti ha, achhcai dekho insaan ki’. These statements should make any rational, reasonable man cringe, and worry about the times that we live in. Not to forget, these unconditional lovers of the star are the same people who blow their tops off and bump up their blood pressure on a daily basis when someone cuts them off on a busy street, or scratches their beloved vehicle; situations rapidly escalate to ‘MayPac’ levels if there is an ‘accidental’ push in a busy public mode of transport.  It is sad, that the supporters are not empathizing with the victims (maybe because they cannot imagine such poverty that forces one to sleep on hot Mumbai pavements) but with a man driving a fancy car (maybe because they (stupidly) aspire to be in his shoes one day) and are subconsciously covering their future, fictional, ‘unintentional’ murder.

I pity the nation that has so many hero-worshipers on whom this democratic machinery relies to pick its leaders; no wonder we pick the kind of people who are grey at best, and certified (potential) criminals to say the least; the optimistic hope of the elders in us, the ‘next generation’ definitely bears a dent now, and we should be ashamed of who we are supporting and the precedent that we are setting for the next generation; only time will tell, if our son would be behind the wheel or under it.

Mission ‘Muffling Modi’ Accomplished

Never have I seen the country and its people (who don’t belong to that state) so glued to assembly elections, the way they were for Delhi 2015. Besides the overarching and obvious winner takes it all story, there were various interesting subplots that could inspire multiple movies. Some of these were:

1. The underdog story, David Kejri v/s Goliath Modi
2. The redemption of the bhagoda
   

   A Typical BJP Campaign That Backfired

3. The final nail in the coffins of political careers of traitors like Ilmi, and Binny
4. The fall of an upright ex police officer into the muck of politics
5. The brain of Yogendra Yadav against the brawn of Amit Shah
6. The failed ‘Avaamgate’

The brouhaha was ably supported by rhetoric, jibes, tears, kisses, and various side actors who played their part with sufficient elan, modulating their voices with expressions of joy, and disappointment as the script demanded.

Most of us who don’t live in Delhi, based our predictions on limited knowledge imparted by TV debates, traditional loyalty, and the much talked about suit worn by the God himself while he was visited by a much touted (and later ridiculed by the same people for pointing out obvious facts about the country) head of a much touted state, and were proven wrong by the results.

The man himself questioned the exit polls and derided the psephologists for painting a grim picture of the wilting lotus; just to point it out, these group of men with such a complicated spelling were the same people who were equated to seers by the saffron brigade when they had predicted that Ab ki baar there indeed will be a Modi sarkar.

But behind the fireworks of the battle, there in the dark, damp corner sat the Congress sobbing and sharing the blame for the loss (yet again) while that Indianized master family possibly munched on pizza and antipasti rejoicing in the loss of their arch rival, the BJP.

It can be confidently said that even the Mufflerman, who cried hoarse (literally) about not being invited to the parade, would not have expected such a mandate. Now, thankfully, he can curb his dharnas and really change the face of this morally rotten capital of the country.

PS: The ‘vigilante minister’ Somnath Bharti, who was discussed in my old post https://shutupshakalya.wordpress.com/2014/02/07/delhi-aint-gotham/ won again, that tells a lot about the difference between perception created by the media and reality witnessed by the voters.

The God Complex & An Exercise in Absurdity

Dr. Gregory House frequently referred to overt acts of philanthropy and generosity as underlying symptoms of a disease. In his vitriolic style, he mocked people for having the “God Complex”, while it can be debated that he had one too.

Various God-men around the world seem to be having this delusion that they have special powers or abilities that promote them to a pedestal that is higher than that of us mere mortals (I think that’s what makes them excel in their line of business). Now, it’s good to have faith in a guide/teacher/guru and have a direction in life, it has helped many a men realize their potential (in movies, mythology, and real life) but I’d rather respect an unassuming inspirational teacher like John Keating (and various other real life ones that I had in school) that makes me yell “Oh captain, my captain”, instead of somebody who uses changing attires, pyrotechnics, and light & sound to mesmerize audience with his theatrics.

Gurmeet Ram Rahim Insan, as he calls himself (you can’t miss the mass appeal there) happens to be this socio-religious (and I think political as well) leader in India that has a huge following. His ‘fans’ claim that he is a do gooder who is trying to rid youth of the nation from the evil clutches of drugs. He carries out blood donation drives, and his many followers unquestioningly tread on the path illuminated by him. Why should anybody have a problem with such a man who is working for the society?

But then, he decides to make a movie and star in it as a (super)hero. The promotional trailers of MSG-Messenger of God are on the telly and some people like me who are on a highway to hell by India’s religious standards are having a good laugh. His fans have come out all guns  blazing on various social media platforms, silencing the detractors and rooting for their babaji. They counter the arguments by asking questions that are only beaten in absurdity by the movie itself.

Those supporting the movie (most of whom are followers of the baba) innocently question that when other movies can show miraculous escapes and stunt scenes, why can’t Gurmeet Ram Rahim’s movie show him performing miracles?

Second. more important question is that when other movies get away with questioning religion in the name of ‘freedom of expression’, shouldn’t the makers of MSG be allowed to have their freedom too?

Both these questions look valid, but there is a difference that I can only highlight with a question(s) of my own.

If the supporters of MSG want to compare it to other mainstream movies then they must answer my questions:

Q1. Is the movie a fictional story about a fictional character who does things on screen only for entertainment of the audience and money for the production houses?

If the answer of Q1 is yes, then Gurmeet Ram Rahim is just an actor playing his part, and the character that he plays on screen is as fictional as Jai, Veeru, and Gabbar. If you answer no, then please help me by answering Q2.

Q2: Is the movie a factual account of the powers vested in baba Ram Rahim, like a biopic on the lines of Gandhi?

If the answer is yes and that the man has such powers, then this is a real life story and it should be first proven that he is in fact capable of performing miracles and I will enroll in his brigade instantly.

Gurmeet Ram Rahim can either be an actor playing by the script in front of the camera or a God-man looking to cash in on popularity and create more naive followers, of which there is no dearth in this country.

If he is an actor then the movie should begin with the usual disclaimer that the story is fictional and has no resemblance to any person living or dead…and so on but if it is not fiction and is in fact a misleading documentary about a man in the profession of religion who in some way will aggrandize himself and his abilities in front of those who are waiting to cling to the next bright ray of sunshine then there should be deliberation before the movie is screened publicly, because then you are setting a precedent that isn’t much different from Nazi time propaganda movies or those created by Islamic radical groups. You may counter by saying that it’s not the same thing and he is a man of peace, but it is; the underlying motive is to push an ideology supported by debatable facts and special effects to highly impressionable people especially in the times when religion is more volatile than ether.

I can say with enough certainty that if Baba Ramdev, Shankaracharya, some Imam or the Vatican funded a movie where these messengers of God played themselves with some miracles and superpowers thrown in for impact then there would be a big hue and cry and people will take to the streets and the same circus would be repeated for the nth time.

But if you are one of those who still want the movie to be screened without any opposition then just admit that religion is a form of entertainment for the elderly, and the naive and let’s have popcorn together at the interval (can I please drink while watching the movie?).